Fancy pants, Attitude adjustments, & The day I almost lost an eyeball...

Disclaimer-I know how annoying it is for someone struggling with infertility to read about a pregnant person who is complaining. Some of you annoyed me at one time, I'll be honest. :)
BUT....I am still very thrilled, blessed and excited to be pregnant and I will tell you this, I've had a good one...but there are still some things that will chap your hind end, no matter what you had to go through to get to this point. And with that....

I mentioned before that I love to shop. And at one time a couple of years ago I would have considered myself pretty fashionable actually. Of course I was thinner than I had ever been in my life, I worked at a place where I had to dress up 5 days a week, and I was making more money than I ever had before...all contributing factors. Nevertheless, I think pregnant clothes can be really cute....on other people and potentially me too, if I had the energy to care. My point? I worked 8 hours yesterday, went to lunch in public with my friends, and also made a trip to Wal-Mart in a pair of maternity yoga pants (my fancy pants), a tank top with a cropped zip up hoodie over it, and a pair of basic black Old.Navy flip flops. My hair was a hot mess and I had on powder and mascara and that is all. Sadly there are more days like this than there are dressed up ones. But I'm tired. Note: I have on a dress today so that people don't forget that I am not actually homeless, but it took a lot out of me to put it on.

Like I mentioned above, I am so happy to be pregnant. I really am. My home life is great and even work is tolerable right now. I feel good, well okay anyway...just the typical uncomfortable, not sleeping well stuff that everyone deals with at some point...but I am CRANKY! I spent 30 minutes trying to come up with reasons why I might be cranky and I cannot figure out a single one, other than hormones. Hence, why I need an attitude adjustment. I've threatened myself with a timeout today if I can't be nice. I'll keep you updated.

I have all of these ideas for what is going to happen after I have the baby. Those of you who currently have children will need to take a breather and allow yourself to make fun of me after you read this part, and that's okay. Ultimately I want to get my body back in shape and lose the weight. Who doesn't? But beyond that I have about 15-20 fertility drug pounds that I want to get rid of too. I've been finding 5k's that I want to run and have discussed joining a gym with my Dad...you know because of all of the free time I will have. lol And there is the dieting.....this morning I had a sausage biscuit from McD's and actually said out loud to myself..."enjoy this now, because your fast food days are almost over".
Anyway, I have the fear of sinking into a sweat pants and no makeup rut, and ideally I don't want that to happen. I want to be a Mom obviously, but I still want to be a fashionable one whose husband is actually excited to see her when he comes home. Right now my morning routine WITHOUT a baby to tend to is this:
-Wake up 20 minutes later than I need to
-Fall asleep in the bathtub because I'm too lazy to stand up in the shower
-Get out, dry off...MAYBE remember to put on my stretch mark stuff (ugh, another post)
-Find whatever clothes are clean and will still cover me. There aren't any other rules than that.
-Towel dry my hair, slap some mousse in it, scrunch it and pull my somewhat grown out bangs up with a bobby pin
-Deodorant, very important
-Foundation (sometimes), blush, powder, mascara* and that is all...which is pointless because it still looks as though I didn't bother at all.
-Brush my teeth and think happy thoughts so I don't gag/throw up
-Let the dog out to pee
-Leave

(notice shaving my legs wasn't mentioned in there anywhere)

I don't want this to be a permanent routine!!! I'd like to think that someday I will once again flat iron my hair and put some thought into what clothing I am putting on my body. And that for the love of everything holy I will remember to put jewelry on again!!! I miss my wedding ring!!!
And make up....make up is important to me. Not that you could tell that right now.

*Mascara is a necessity because I have almost invisible eyelashes. One time I tried to apply fake eyelashes to see if I would like them, and I almost lost an eyeball. I've never even glanced at a package of them in Wal-Mart since. I was traumatized.


This is a long, dumb post. I'll leave you with an update:

35 Weeks (and 3 days)


Total weight gain/loss: I have gained 32 pounds. I actually gained about 30 of those in the 1st and 2nd trimester and have been pretty well stuck on this amount for over a month now. I'm good with the standstill. :)

Maternity clothes: You betcha. With the exception of some of J's t-shirts when I can get by with that.

Sleep: So tired. Reasons I can't sleep: mind will NOT shut down, back hurts, wrist hurts (tendonitis), HEARTBURN, and then the 48 trips to the bathroom of course.

Best moment of the week: JT got to feel her moving around a LOT last night. She was all over the place.

Food cravings/aversions: Nothing really. There isn't ANYTHING that doesn't give me heartburn. I had grapes yesterday and almost died. GRAPES PEOPLE!!!

Belly button in or out: Still in, can you believe that? It's ugly and flatter...but still in.

Stretch marks: I've seen worse, but mine are pretty gross. And still NONE on my belly. It's the weirdest thing.

What I miss: Riding the 4-wheeler with hub, bending over, sleeping...although I don't expect to do that again for a LONG time. I miss normal clothes too.

What I am looking forward to: 36 week ultrasound on Monday...PLEASE still be a girl. Don't get me wrong...a boy would be fabulous...but I don't have the mental capacity nor the time to return this many girly things and replace them with boy things...and more importantly, PLEASE STILL BE HEALTHY!

Weekly wisdom: 35 weeks is long enough. 40 is a dumb number. ha!