Back to the grind.....

After a sunny 3-day weekend, of 4-wheeling and no work or doctor's appointments, I feel much better. I feel better despite the huge red, rashy area on my leg where the wasp stung me and despite the stomach bug that I am (hopefully) over now. I am back at work, and back to school and back to blogging....apparently.
So I had a nervous breakdown Thursday and I had myself a big pity party and I am over it now. JT came home with flowers Thursday night and took me out to eat so that I didn't have to cook and then after he saw that I was stable he asked me, "Why are you in such a hurry for a baby?" I couldn't really answer that.... I mean we have been trying for 4 years (on and off) so to say that I am in a hurry sounds silly.
BUT HE'S RIGHT!!!!I am 26 years old for Pete's sake....really, what IS my hurry?

Here is some background information....when we found out that we weren't going to be able to conceive without IVF or a miracle, I jumped head first into IVF without thinking twice. We literally met with the doctor in January, found out in February that IVF was our only option and by March I had set the whole thing up and JT started working overtime to pay for it all. I didn't even consider it NOT being our best option. And I think JT is so scared that I will flip out on him that he let me jump into this without questioning me about it.

SO, NO....it's not happening in April, but it might happen in May. And we just bought ourselves another month of being young and married and spontaneous, WITHOUT worrying what I can and cannot do as a pregnant person. So I am going to enjoy that, and know that what I've got that mother's don't have....is freedom. Freedom to drop everything, jump on a 4-wheeler with my sweet husband and drive all day without finding a babysitter first. Freedom to decide on a Friday that we are leaving THAT DAY and not coming back until Sunday....just for a weekend getaway. Freedom to sleep in and take naps. We've got that....we just don't have a baby. And while we still want a baby very much, I think those are things that I take for granted. We are SO free to do whatever we want right now. It won't always be that way. So DEEP BREATH...it will happen when it's supposed to...or it won't, and life will go on. It really will.

On a side note:
I think the reason that I have become so intrigued with IF blogs and reading them and writing them, etc., is because it's a place where people understand my situation, because they are going through something similar. It just burns me for someone to assume that IVF is something that you do in one day, which happens ALL of the time.
But IFers know that it takes doctor's visits, injections, hormone levels having to be exact, trial transfers, numerous ultrasounds and blood draws...etc, etc, etc for the IVF thing to work. And even still....sometimes it doesn't. I just wish everyone understood how much the process entails before they assume that it's like a wham, bam, thank you ma'am kind of thing. Read up. Then ask me questions....or better yet....just pretend you don't know anything is going on. :) That's safe.

So I am calling this "Baby Free Month"! I am not talking about IVF, because there is nothing to talk about. I am not looking at baby room stuff or thinking about baby names or planning life around the fact that I "MIGHT" be pregnant in the next few months. I am just living. Don't get me wrong...I still want to hear about your kids, or your process or your pregnancy. I really do. Just because it's not going easily for me doesn't make it any less special for you. I just have nothing to talk about right now....and that's okay.
Have a good week everyone! 80's all week in Arkansas! YESSSS!!!!