20 weeks, Tomorrow is the big day....

Tomorrow is gender reveal day! I haven't really talked that much about this, I don't guess. Everyone wants to know what my gut instinct is and I think I'm already a bad Mom for not having one. haha
Honestly, in the beginning I thought it was a boy. But now, I feel like it's a girl, and I have for a few weeks. My preference? After all of the madness that has been the past 4 years, I just want a healthy baby, truly....but if you make me pick, I would say that everything has come easier with the thought of a boy. I mean we picked out our boy name first, I knew what theme I wanted for the boy's room before I did the girl's room, etc. BUT...the good news is that we also have those things picked out for a girl....so we're good either way. :)

Just pray that whatever is in there doesn't get all modest on me tomorrow, because I am ready to know!!!!

Week 19

Nothing major has changed, here is a picture. I have no idea what my belly looks like, I'm too busy being exasperated by the size of my keester.

Non-pregnancy related post. Safe for everyone.

I've probably mentioned my A.D.D. in the past. It's self-diagnosed, but it's still there. Anywho, I don't like to do my job. Let's not confuse this with me not getting it done, I manage very well actually, and yesterday I got compliments for just that. It's not that I have a bad job. Most people I know would like to steal it from me, but I just don't like any job at the moment. My mind is other places. You know what I mean.

Moral of that pointless paragraph? I am blogging instead of typing division orders.

This weekend I am going to Holiday Market with my Mom and Grandma, and then leaving for Tulsa right after. My superman-bionic-in great shape-skinny-bad for my ego-husband is running the Route 66 Marathon, and I am going to sit in my lawn chair (or somewhere) and root him on, probably whilst holding some nachos, or whatever I can find to eat.

Speaking of food, tomorrow is our Thanksgiving celebration at work. I plan to eat. A lot. And also I get to take home a paycheck and a turkey. What more could I ask for?

Today I am registering to win free Uggs. Wish me luck.
G'day.

Week 18

* I may start changing up the updates to something different than this format. Weight gain is going to be less and less fun to talk about, and this past week I think I found the beginning of a stretch mark. The jury is still out. Nevertheless, I don't know why I need to update you all on those either....so I will probably change it up starting on Week 19.

How far along: 18 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: I have no idea, I thought 12 but doctor's office is showing more like 8. So....

Maternity clothes: Completely maternity on bottom, mixing it up on the top. (this past week I wore some pre-pregnancy jeans with the bella band and it was annoying to keep adjusting that thing all day long...)

Sleep: Sleeping great!

Best moment of the week: My doc appt went really well. I'm just hoping that my blood tests come back with good results.

Food cravings/aversions: Can't think of anything. I got my hot wing fix and I feel much better!

Belly button in or out: In

Stretch marks: Jury is out. Husband says it's a scratch, I think he's in denial. Either way it's on the back side of my hip. I also discovered that the same hip is bruised MAJORLY. It looks like something hardcore happened to me, and I have no idea what it could be. Can you be anemic during pregnancy but not at any other time???

What I miss: My C cup boobs!!!! I'm starting to get "whoa your boobs are big" comments. :(

What I am looking forward to: Gender reveal on the 30th. I am also waiting on my Mom to ask what time that appointment is so that I can refuse to tell her....(hi Mom)

Weekly wisdom: If you have a friend who loves football, don't take her to a Razorback game and then let her lead the way up the 3 flights of stairs to our seats. I almost died. I still haven't caught my breath and that was Saturday....

This Just In!!!!!

Pregnancy causes road rage......apparently.

I am out of control. I get to work in the mornings and I have to say a small prayer for forgiveness for all of the foul words I say on the way to work. I also have to ask that the Lord forgive me for wishing bad things on the drivers around me. I am nasty. A horrible person.

This morning, I wished that the DUMB BLONDE (not all blondes are dumb, this one is) behind me would hit a pothole and that the phone she was blabbing on would bounce off the top of her dumb blue Chevy truck and hit her on top of her dumb blonde head...AND leave a knot. I am very detailed with my nastiness.

My problem is that it takes me 30 minutes to get to work in the morning. Not because of big city traffic, but because I literally live over 20 miles away from my workplace. About 7 of those miles are on a regular road that is not an interstate. The first 2 miles of that stretch has a speed limit of 30 mph, BECAUSE it is right SMACK through the middle of a residential area. Seriously, houses all over the place! About 3 out of 5 days of the week, I have some jackwagon right up on the bumper of my Jeep. Last year, I got a ticket on this very road and it was EXPENSIVE. Therefore, I do about 35-40 through this area....still speeding, but playing it safer. The idiots behind me apparently don't think that's fast enough SO, getting 3 inches from my bumper will get them to work faster, right? NO...it won't. And it makes me slow down, just to be hateful. And it makes me cuss, and I don't like doing that.

Mark my words, sometime during the next 5 months, I WILL be slamming on my breaks and hoping that the bimbo behind me gets to buy me a new vehicle for being stupid.

Thank God it's Friday!

Best Doc Appt EVAHHHH!

Great things that happened:

*Heard strong, healthy heartbeat and baby kicked Dr. M's doppler....even though I didn't feel it.
*Scheduled my gender reveal ultrasound for November 30th!!!!
*Was informed that for my glucose test on December 8th, I can eat 18 Jelly Belly jelly beans (any flavor) instead of drinking the orange stuff. THRILLED about that!!!!
*Was informed that I only gained 1 lb this month!!!!! My doctor is a stickler on the weight thing, so he was super happy with me. I will enjoy this because I am sure it won't last. Also...I am not going to weigh at home anymore. My scales are weighing MUCH heavier than the Doc's scales and freaking me out about weight gain. Apparently I am right on track.

They took 6 vials of blood to test for everything under the sun, but even that wasn't too bad because hub took me to eat Mexican food afterward.
Now, if those blood tests come back a-ok, I will be SUPER happy. :)

Pondering....

I have read several posts lately from women who are fighting infertility and want the world to know how hard it is to hear about others and their pregnancies, children etc. They feel like it's a slap to the face. I feel like I can speak about this because for 4 years I was that person. All of my friends had at least one kid, and I had answered the dreaded "when are you guys having kids?" question in a thousand different ways. My husband and I decided to get creative and make up a different reason each time. I once heard my husband (okay more than once) say, "Never...we hate kids" which sounds pretty harsh, but was funny at the time because that is not the truth at all, obviously. We just thought...hey--ask a rude question, you'll get a rude answer. ANYWAY, I know that I have become one of those bloggers who is doing pregnancy updates and you know, basically throwing my pregnancy all up in your face, and maybe I've lost readers because of that? I'm not sure, but I just want to say that once your on the other side of this (and God willing, you will be) it is almost impossible to not want to share what you have been yearning for, for so long. I've seen a lot of "try to put yourself in my shoes" quotes and that is definitely a phrase to live by...but it works both ways. Imagine trying for several years, successfully getting pregnant and then feeling like you can't even talk about it. Does that make sense? No one wins here, it doesn't get easier for the infertiles to read about pregnancy and it doesn't get easier for the pregnant women to know that they are being rude for talking about the most exciting thing in their lives....so where do I fit in? For 4 years, I had a "down with the preggos" mentality which was derived purely from jealousy. Now I have a "lemme talk about it because I'm excited omgomgomgomg" mentality which derives from, well.....excitement, so where am I going with this? I have no idea, other than I know how hard it is to read about success stories that you feel you're never going to live, but now I also know what it's like to feel guilty for being pregnant....my conclusion: put yourself in other's shoes, REGARDLESS of your situation.
I am 17 weeks and still have a paralyzing fear of something going wrong, so am I going to forget what it took to get here? Absolutely not. Do I feel like I deserve to talk about it? Absolutely. As does everyone else.....
I just felt like I need to let everyone know who is still struggling to have their baby, that I have not forgotten and never will and in no way want to throw anything in anyone's face....but dammit...I have waited to talk about this stuff for awhile and I think it's fair that I get to. :)

Have a good rest of the week! Please don't attack me with mean comments.