I need valium.

I am trying not to be a total spaz, but I am scared to death I am going to screw something up. I work at a desk where I am free to roam the Internet and I cannot for the life of me stay off of it long enough to do some actual work, which just keeps piling higher and higher. I read ALL of your blogs and especially those who did/are doing IVF and I keep going to older posts to read your experiences so that I will know what to expect. I have issues.

Anywho--I had an appt this morning and Dr. P (God Bless Him) was happy with what he saw as far as follicles go. I have several that are measuring around 11 and apparently that's pretty good for now. So I am good with that and I am just waiting to call my PRN to find out my bloodwork results and what to do next. So--I started reading about some of you who stimmed for like 10 or 11 days and I am adding up in my head how much Follistim is left. Well--not enough, I will tell you that right now. I have about 5 shots left, meaning 2 more days after today, which will put me on Day 9 which is not Day 10 or 11. Grrrr. I just want to see into the future. And there I am all spazzing out. So I guess I will just spaz for a couple more hours until I find out something and then give my weekly freakout call to my IVF nurse if I have some sort of questions. (which I will)

Side effects thus far:
1) I am getting a little crampy--not too bad yet. Dr. P (the one that God is blessing) says I will start to feel more and more uncomfortable with each passing day. There's something to look forward to, although the magic wand is becoming more and more irritating with my ever swelling ovaries, so I am thinking I will be dreading that. Not like I enjoy it already.
2) HEADACHES. Omg, I have had a constant headache for like 5 days straight. Of course, I am only allowed to take Tylenol, which I think is helping for like 10 minutes at a time and then the headache is back. It's not unbearable, life goes on.
3) Weird appetite issues. I am about to rip apart a Taco Bell at one moment and then the very next, I cannot think of a single thing that I want to eat. I had to get up at 5 this morning to drive to Tulsa. (2 hours) So far I have had 2 bites of a granola bar (only because I have to eat with the Dexamethason) and a coffee. I feel sickly, yet I cannot think of one single thing that I want for lunch. And this is causing cooking to be even less enjoyable because I can't come up with anything to cook because NOTHING sounds good. haha--I would like to lose my appetite all together, so let's hope for that. :)

Ok--you've endured enough whining. If IVF works this will all be worth it. Fingers crossed.
Now I am off to find a sammich (barf) or something before I pass out. haha